Month: May 2017

25th May – On This Day In History

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Born:

1889 Igor Sikorsky (aviation pioneer)

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Died:

1849 Benjamin d’Urban (British general, city of Durban, South Africa, named after him)

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On This Day:

1927 The announcement is made that Ford will no longer produce the Model T

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Have a good Thursday, 25th May

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I Want It Now!

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Gooses, geeses
I want my geese to lay gold eggs for easter
At least a hundred a day
And by the way

I want a feast
I want a bean feast
Cream buns and doughnuts
And fruitcake with no nuts
So good you could go nuts

No, now

I want a ball
I want a party
Pink macaroons
And a million balloons
And performing baboons and
Give it to me now

I want the world
I want the whole world
I want to lock it
All up in my pocket
It’s my bar of chocolate
Give it to me now

I want today
I want tomorrow
I want to wear ’em
Like braids in my hair and
I don’t want to share ’em

I want a party with roomfuls of laughter
Ten thousand tons of ice cream
And if I don’t get the things I am after
I’m going to scream

I want the works
I want the whole works
Presents and prizes
And sweets and surprises
Of all shapes and sizes

And now

Don’t care how, I want it now
Don’t care how, I want it now

 

– Roald Dahl

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24th May – On This Day In History

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Born:

1819 Queen Victoria

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Died:

1974 Duke Ellington (musician)

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On This Day:

1862 Westminster Bridge, crossing the Thames River opens

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Have a good Wednesday, 24th May

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My Teacher Wasn’t Half As Nice As Yours Seems To Be

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‘My teacher wasn’t half as nice as yours seems to be.
His name was Mister Unsworth and he taught us history.
And when you didn’t know a date he’d get you by the ear
And start to twist while you sat there quite paralysed with fear.
He’d twist and twist and twist your ear and twist it more and more.
Until at last the ear came off and landed on the floor.
Our class was full of one-eared boys. I’m certain there were eight.
Who’d had them twisted off because they didn’t know a date.
So let us now praise teachers who today are all so fine
And yours in particular is totally divine.’

 

– Roald Dahl

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23rd May – On This Day In History

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Born:

1950 Martin McGuiness (Irish politician) 

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Died:

1701 William Kidd (pirate)

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On This Day:

1568 The Netherlands declares independence (from Spain)

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Have a good Tuesday, 23rd May

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The Crocodile

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‘No animal is half as vile
As Crocky-Wock, the crocodile.
On Saturdays he likes to crunch
Six juicy children for his lunch
And he especially enjoys
Just three of each, three girls, three boys.
He smears the boys (to make them hot)
With mustard from the mustard pot.
But mustard doesn’t go with girls,
It tastes all wrong with plaits and curls.
With them, what goes extremely well
Is butterscotch and caramel.
It’s such a super marvelous treat
When boys are hot and girls are sweet.
At least that’s Crocky’s point of view
He ought to know. He’s had a few.
That’s all for now. It’s time for bed.
Lie down and rest your sleepy head.
Ssh. Listen. What is that I hear,
Galumphing softly up the stair?

Go lock the door and fetch my gun!
Go on child, hurry! Quickly run!
No stop! Stand back! He’s coming in!
Oh, look, that greasy greenish skin!
The shining teeth, the greedy smile!
It’s Crocky-Wock, the Crocodile!’

 

– Roald Dahl

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22nd May – On This Day In History

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Born:

1813 Richard Wagner (composer)

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Died:

1885 Victor Hugo (writer – Les Miserables)

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On This Day:

1906 The Wright Brothers patent an aeroplane

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Have a good Monday, 22nd May

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